


The doctor prescribed 'no more champagne showers'

by paradox_of_retaliation



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Awkward Conversations, Awkward Flirting, Embarrassment, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Getting Together, Intrusive bird metaphors, M/M, Medical Examination, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25937836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paradox_of_retaliation/pseuds/paradox_of_retaliation
Summary: Kimi has to visit a doctor after the Korean GP in 2013 and Sebastian accidentally sets into motion a successful courting ritual.(Or, why Seb toned down on harassing Kimi on the podium with his champagne spraying after 2013)
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 15
Kudos: 107
Collections: Fics that have cuddled and stabbed me and yet I'm still coming back for more





	The doctor prescribed 'no more champagne showers'

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ColdWhiteLight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdWhiteLight/gifts), [theianitor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theianitor/gifts).



> Hello! 👋🏻
> 
> I've had this idea for a pretty long time and wrote the first lines over a year ago, I'm pretty sure. I was motivated to write it fully when two of my favourite ppl's birthdays happened recently and I didn't have anything to post for them at the time. I've been planning and writing and stressing over this for the last 4-5 days trying to get it done. And here it finally is!
> 
> So, ColdWhiteLight and theianitor, I hope you like this <3

It's an average morning on an average post-race Monday.

Yet another Monday after a great win. Sebastian is on cloud nine. Nothing can ruin this day, he is sure. He's practically floating as he makes his way to Kimi's room to drag him downstairs for breakfast with him.

Sebastian knocks on the door and waits. He hums to himself, already ready to settle back for a long wait and coming up with ways to entertain himself. Obviously he knows Kimi is in, but the fact stands that, sometimes, when Kimi happens to be in the mood, he'll let people wait outside his door for even 15 minutes before bothering to let them in. In hopes they'd get tired and leave him alone, of course.

Sebastian is tenacious though, and very used to this. He just waits it out. He is usually one of the few people Kimi is actually happy to see at his door when he does finally answer anyway. And he also knows Kimi is aware that on this particular day they're catching a flight together in the afternoon, and not answering the door would mean getting left behind and missing his flight.

(Sebastian had actually done it once just to make a point. Boy, had Kimi been pissed. But he had eventually, after a lot of cursing, conceded that he had deserved it.)

The door cracks open after only 30 seconds and catches Sebastian off guard. That has to be some kind of record.

"Morning, Seb..."

Sebastian blinks hard, speechless.

"Seb?"

"What the fuck is wrong with your eyes?" Sebastian blurts out.

Kimi grunts and pushes the door open wider in invitation before disappearing back inside. Sebastian furrows his brows at the reaction and tentatively steps in, closing the door gently behind himself.

He spots Kimi sitting on the edge of his bed, looking as unamused as humanly possible, and makes his way closer. He assumes Kimi is waiting for him so he can talk. Presumably explain what the hell has happened to his eyes.

"Stop staring! I know it's bad," Kimi snaps at him.

Sebastian averts his eyes, but five seconds later he's staring in- well, _at_ Kimi's eyes again.

Kimi sighs and closes them instead.

"They're...very red," Sebastian says.

"I've noticed," Kimi replies dryly, eyes still closed.

"...So... What exactly did you do last night after I left? Did you-"

"For the hundredth time, no, I don't get high, Seb."

"-Right."

Kimi sighs again. "Actually feels better like this than when they're open..."

Sebastian stands in silence, contemplating. This is by no means the first time he has seen Kimi like this. It has kind of become an inside joke between them that Kimi gets eye infections. Often. Or, it would be an inside joke if Kimi found it funny. Sebastian usually does, but he has never seen Kimi's eyes _this_ bad before, and it's quite honestly freaking him out a little. They look almost painfully red.

"Any ideas where you got it this time?" he finally asks.

Kimi shrugs. "No."

"Are you going to the hospital before we leave?"

Kimi cracks his eyes open slightly. He looks highly uncomfortable. Sebastian feels uncomfortable in sympathy.

"I don't know," Kimi says, squinting at Sebastian. "You think I should?"

Sebastian wants to yell, 'Yes, your eyes look like they're from a horror movie!'. In fact he is getting more and more worried the longer he looks at the whites of Kimi's eyes that are very much _not_ white at the moment. That can't be normal. Or healthy. He doesn't want to freak Kimi out too by making a big deal out of it though, so he decides to settle for a nonchalant answer instead.

"If you feel like it, I guess." He even shrugs to sell it even better.

It's Kimi's turn to think now. He closes his eyes fully again and looks instantly much more comfortable. Sebastian feels his own worry grow even more. He hopes Kimi isn't in one of his more stupid moods and doesn't decide to just let it be.

"Someone should maybe look at them," Kimi says after a long silence. Sebastian sighs in relief.

"Okay. That's good. Do you...want company? We have time."

Kimi nods a little too fast. It's endearing. Sebastian smiles.

"You have a car downstairs?"

Kimi nods again, at a normal speed this time. "You might have to drive though," he says, "I'm not opening my eyes again."

"'Might'," Sebastian mutters as he goes to drag Kimi to his feet. "Not even you could drive without eyes..."

"You never know..."

Sebastian huffs, but lets it go. "Here." He grabs Kimi's sunglasses and pokes him in the chest with them. "At least put these on. People will stare if you go out there like this."

Kimi grabs at the sunglasses blindly and slips them on before patting along Sebastian's arm until he finds his shoulder and grips on to it.

"Please don't make me walk into a wall this time," he says.

"I did not _make_ you walk into a wall! You did that all on your own!"

Kimi doesn't dignify him with an answer other than a quiet grunt.

~*~

"Seeing as you're not opening them, I take it you're here because you have an issue with your eyes?" the doctor says, clearly trying to remain professional and not to let his amusement show on his face.

Kimi nods. Sebastian jabs an elbow into his side hard enough to make him open his eyes and give him a short-lived glare.

"Ah, _very_ red eyes." The doctor pulls a face in sympathy. "Looks like a standard, if slightly aggressive, eye infection. But let's have a look…"

The doctor rolls his chair over in front of Kimi, pulls out a little light, and shines it into Kimi's eye.

Kimi grumbles and starts trying to squint his eyes against it until Sebastian pinches his thigh and makes him jolt and open them wide again.

"You have these check-ups all the time for your infections, you should be used to this," Sebastian teases him as Kimi attempts to glare at him out of the corner of his eye without disturbing the doctor's work too much.

This seems to catch the doctor's attention, as he pauses before turning off the lamp and sitting back, now giving his full attention to Sebastian instead while Kimi is busy letting his eyes recover from the horrible light torture.

"Really? How often would you say?"

Sebastian is surprised that the doctor is now addressing him directly, but collects himself quickly.

"Um, he had one just…a little over two weeks ago? And before that there were many too… Kimi, how many have you had this year already?"

Kimi shrugs as he tries to subtly rub at his eyes. Seb notices, pulls his hand away and earns himself yet another glare.

"I don't know? Maybe five," Kimi mumbles and shrugs again. "Mark would know better than me, he keeps a chart…"

The doctor looks slightly bewildered by this revelation, and rolls his chair back behind his desk to access his computer.

"Is that bad?" Sebastian asks anxiously, setting a hand on Kimi's shoulder to try and be supportive even though Kimi doesn't seem to have yet caught on to the change in the doctor's demeanor.

"Well, it's not good, let's say that," the doctor says diplomatically, tapping something on his computer. "Were you prescribed something for the previous infections, do you remember?"

Kimi shrugs. "Different eye drops. I don't remember the names…"

"Hmm… And the infections always went away?"

Kimi nods.

"But they still come back pretty regularly?"

Kimi nods again. Sebastian is starting to actually feel worried.

"You don't have any other issues with your eyes or medical conditions that would affect your eyes? Recurring colds or allergies?"

Kimi shakes his head. "Just some allergies, but I have pills for those. And they never affect my eyes."

"And you take them regularly? So they haven't helped with the eyes?"

Kimi shakes his head again.

"Probably not allergy related then," the doctor mumbles under his breath.

Sebastian gets impatient and decides to bite the bullet. "You got worried. When I said he gets them a lot. Why? Can it be something bad?"

Kimi gives Sebastian a curious look.

"Well, there are always possibilities, of course…" The doctor stops typing and gives his full attention to Sebastian. "But they're very unlikely in this case. It's better not to entertain those ideas until all more common and less serious options have been thoroughly looked at."

"It's not allergies. He hasn't been sick. He hasn't been hit in the eye either. So it's just infections," Sebastian presses on, squeezing Kimi's shoulder more firmly without realising. "Whatever causes them is one thing, but like I said, you got worried when you heard he has them a lot. Is there something we should be worried about? If it's something bad, you need to tell us!"

Sebastian feels Kimi pat his arm and he looks over. Seeing his face makes Sebastian come back to himself and loosen his hold on Kimi's shoulder. He realises he had been leaning forward and his face had been set in a deep frown until a second ago as he had grilled the doctor. He flushes a little in embarrassment at letting himself get so carried away and leans back in his seat.

He chooses to ignore the slightly impressed look Kimi had been giving him and why it's making him want to puff out his chest and square his shoulders like he is some exotic bird posturing for the attention of a potential mate.

And that's… That's just not on.

Sebastian refuses to even entertain the idea that he is acting like a horny bird proudly protecting his chosen female. If Kimi knew what was going on in his head, he would surely kick his ass. If not at the bird metaphor itself, then at the audacious assumption that he would be the damsel - bird - in distress.

Sebastian coughs out an awkward "Sorry" and gestures for the doctor to go on.

The doctor gives him a patient smile, gratefully not seeming at all offended, before he speaks up again, "To answer your question: yes, there _is_ a reason to be worried about recurring eye infections. First of all, it's not common for an otherwise healthy person to have them so often. And second of all, it's not good for the eyes either. Chronic eye infections are sometimes caused by a specific type of infection called trachoma. Now, trachoma _could_ cause blindness…"

Sebastian's eyes widen, but Kimi seems unbothered.

"...but only if left untreated. But as I just checked on my computer, trachoma is treated with standard antibiotic eye drops." The doctor turns to Kimi. "You said you had gotten drops previously and they had worked, so unless you've been unlucky enough to get infected now six times in total in just one year, it is highly unlikely you have it."

Sebastian lets out a subtle breath of relief and gives Kimi's shoulder a soft pat.

"I'm writing you a prescription for eye drops anyway, but it would be smart to try and figure out what's causing them so often." The doctor turns back to his computer and starts typing. "An outside irritant can be the cause too. Do you remember getting anything in your eye before each infection?"

"Not that I can remember… I go out to bars, see people, then go back to my room and sleep. And in the mornings my eyes look like..." Kimi motions at his face, "This."

"...You haven't tried pouring vodka in your eye sockets while out at these bars, have you?"

Kimi smirks. "No. This one doesn't let me." He points at Sebastian, who rolls his eyes. "I've wanted to try, but he's a big buzzkill and just drags me to bed and says I've 'clearly had too much'."

"Just because I don't want to hear the inevitable whining," Sebastian says pointedly, "'My eyes hurt, Seb! Make it stop, Seb!' I can't make it stop, I'm not a miracle maker! If I was then you would listen to me _before_ you did something stupid."

Kimi just scoffs, his lack of a proper retort only confirming Sebastian's words to be the most likely end result.

The doctor chuckles good naturedly and clicks something on his screen, then pauses and turns his attention back to them, looking thoughtful.

"I know this is a very private question. And it might feel invasive, but I assure you nothing you say here will be shared with anyone outside this room. It's just so I can help you to the best of my ability."

Sebastian exchanges a confused look with Kimi.

"What's the question?" Kimi asks.

"Is there any chance you have gotten semen in your eyes?"

Sebastian feels his whole face turn red and yanks his hand off of Kimi's shoulder like he had been scalded. Next to him Kimi is just blinking rapidly, looking stunned.

"It can hurt when it happens, but goes away, so you might feel like no harm has been done. Unless you clean your eyes well though, it can sometimes cause irritation or even an infection in the eyes. It's not as uncommon as you would think," the doctor continues, "Usually people are just too embarrassed to admit it when they come in. Understandable, of course, but I'm not here to judge anyone."

Sebastian wants the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He had not expected his day to turn out like this. It was supposed to be a normal day of getting himself ready, going to Kimi's room to check he's alive, and going to the airport together to catch their flight. Maybe sneak in some food at the airport before boarding and secretly pay the bill for both of them again in hopes of seeing Kimi give him that one very specific smile of his - the one that's a mix of surprise, fondness and something warm that's only reserved for him - when he tries to pull out his wallet to pay for himself, only to be told by the waiter that it has already been taken care of.

That's how it was _supposed_ to go.

"I'm not fucking him," Kimi says matter-of-factly after he has recovered enough to give an actual answer.

Sebastian nods along and waves his fingers back and forth across his throat in a 'stop-right-this-second'-gesture. This line of questioning needs to be snipped at the bud as far as he is concerned.

He had definitely _not_ expected to be asked about a supposed love affair between himself and Kimi - or whether said love affair would include him spending himself on Kimi's face on such a regular basis it would cause constant eye problems - while at the doctor's for what he had thought was just the consequence of Kimi rubbing his eyes too much.

A hospital is not the place for this. Those kinds of mental images are something Sebastian reserves strictly for quiet nights alone in his bed, or quick showers after podiums where Kimi has had champagne foam dripping down his face.

Sebastian's spiraling thoughts grind to a halt. Huh. Champagne foam…

"Oh, then I'm sorry," the doctor says, "I assumed since he came in with you and from the way you were acting together that you were a couple..."

"He gets champagne in his eyes!" Sebastian blurts out just then, "I spray champagne in his face!"

Both the doctor and Kimi turn to look at him. Kimi had clearly been in the middle of preparing to say something when Sebastian had suddenly interrupted him.

"So it _was_ your fault still," Kimi says after a long pause, an eerily neutral look on his face.

The doctor hides an amused smile behind his hand and Sebastian shrinks under Kimi's blood red gaze in shame.

~*~

The elevator ride down is awkward. Or at least it is for Sebastian.

"...I'm sorry," he says.

"Meh." Kimi shrugs. He's squinting his eyes again. "It's fine."

"You know, you're taking this weirdly well. I thought you would be mad."

"It's not like you gave me poison, Seb. It's just eye infections."

"Yeah… I'll… I'll try not to get it in your eyes again," Sebastian says awkwardly.

Kimi snorts and lifts his eyebrows pointedly.

Sebastian feels himself blush. "Shut up! I'm talking about the champagne!"

"You better be, because I don't remember anything about the other thing happening," Kimi laughs.

Sebastian gives his shoulder a shove, but it does nothing to dampen Kimi's mirth at his embarrassment, as he is still chuckling to himself by the time they reach the ground floor of the hospital.

"Ha-ha, yes, yes, so funny. I get it." Sebastian gives him another shove, this time towards the pharmacy near the entrance. "Get your fucking drops so we can leave. I skipped breakfast to take you here and I'm starving!"

"Hey, I haven't eaten either…" Kimi retorts half-heartedly.

Sebastian makes as if to give him another shove towards the pharmacy, but Kimi skirts away from him just in time, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

God, if he didn't feel bad about knowing all of Kimi's eye troubles have been his fault, Sebastian would definitely consider bailing while he's in the pharmacy just to give him a taste of his own medicine.

Sebastian huffs in amusement. Medicine. How apt.

Kimi walks out after less than ten minutes with a small bag in one hand and a small box in the other. He stops in front of Sebastian and, just when Sebastian is about to ask what the other box is for, he hands it to Sebastian with a shit-eating grin on his face.

Condoms. The other box is condoms. _Flavoured_ condoms.

Sebastian's face must be a sight, because Kimi bursts into laughter again after having only managed to hold back for five seconds.

"To save you a hospital trip with someone else in the future," he says, letting out another laugh at the dirty look Sebastian shoots him.

"You're seriously not going to let it go?"

Kimi gives Sebastian an exaggerated sympathetic look that's very much offset by the state of his eyes, sets a hand on his shoulder and leans in. "No," he says. And that same shit-eating grin returns to his face full blast.

Then he just turns around and starts striding back towards their car, not looking back and leaving Sebastian to follow after him at a much slower pace. 

_'Let him wait outside the car,'_ Sebastian thinks, feeling petty.

He fiddles with the box in his hands, slightly annoyed that Kimi isn't at all embarrassed by the situation and is instead just having fun teasing him about it, while he himself is still silently reeling.

He had been so close to being found out. Well… Maybe not _that_ close, but it had been really uncomfortable nonetheless to have those ideas out there for someone else to hear (for _Kimi_ to hear!) when they weren't too far from actual things his imagination has conjured up before. It had been a bitter reminder of what his life is missing.

Somehow, by the time Sebastian finally reaches the section of the parking lot they had parked in, Kimi is already sitting inside the car. He pats his pockets and realises the bastard must have snatched the keys from him at some point. Probably before he went into the pharmacy to cover his back and make sure Sebastian couldn't retaliate by driving off without him. Clever.

For some reason the thought makes Sebastian smile. Kimi knows him so well.

"You're a thief," he says as a way of greeting when he climbs into the driver's seat, finding the keys already waiting for him in the ignition.

Kimi has his head tilted back, in the middle of applying the drops in his eyes with practiced ease, and thus barely acknowledges Sebastian's appearance with much more than a hum in agreement. He is a thief and he knows it.

Sebastian waits for him to be done before throwing the box of condoms at Kimi, adamant on some sort of revenge, but not wanting to disturb him with his eye drops. He still feels guilty after all.

He turns all his focus to putting on his own seatbelt and starting the car while he listens to Kimi chuckling at him, completely unphased once again. It was a pathetic attempt in the first place, he knows, but he's still irked that Kimi didn't at least get a little annoyed and throw the box back at him or something.

As he pulls out of the parking lot, Sebastian notices Kimi playing with the box of condoms out of the corner of his eye and smirks to himself.

Let's try one more time...

"Is that something you like then? _Melon_ flavour?" he asks sarcastically, wanting to get in at least some needling of his own.

To his great shock Kimi turns bright red in the face at the question and immediately stops playing with the box. The colour matches almost perfectly with that of his eyes. To be honest that is the last reaction Sebastian had expected.

At least until he realises what he had _actually_ just asked.

If even possible, his own face flushes an even darker shade of red than Kimi's. A quick look in the rearview mirror confirms this.

He and his big mouth! Did he really just ask Kimi if he has a favourite _condom_ flavour? That doctor visit had clearly done a number on him and knocked him off his game completely, because he has never slipped this badly around Kimi before. His filter is usually water-tight to keep things from getting awkward and to make sure he doesn't say anything that would give Kimi any reason to get suspicious.

He laughs nervously. _Fuck._ "That came out wrong! I wasn't actually saying that you like the taste! Because how would you know? You've never used them on- with anyone! Why would you have?" _Oh god, stop talking!_ "I've never tried anything like that either, obviously! Dicks? Euch! Right?" _Shut up!_ "I like the boobs, you like the boobs. We all like the boobs, because we're-"

"Seb, please shut up," Kimi groans, looking like he wants to jump out of the car.

"That'd probably be for the best," Sebastian squeaks, and squeezes his mouth shut. He takes a deep breath to try and calm his racing heart. What the hell is wrong with him? Had the doctor assuming they were a couple really had this big of an effect on him?

They drive along in pregnant silence for the next five minutes. Sebastian is hunched in on himself, trying his hardest to disappear into his seat. The air in the car feels thick. It's painfully awkward. The one thing Sebastian had always done his best to avoid, yet here they are. The longer the silence continues, the more awkward it gets.

Then Kimi clears his throat, and somehow things get even more awkward. Sebastian jumps a little in his seat at the sound and waits with bated breath, almost choking on the anticipation.

"...I do like melon," Kimi mumbles after an excruciatingly long pause.

The car gives a jerk as Sebastian accidentally lets off the gas pedal before quickly recovering and pushing it back down.

"Oh. That's good to know." The car gives another jerk as Sebastian once again realises what he had said. He cringes. "I...don't know why I said that…"

Kimi snorts. With that the awkwardness finally dissipates slightly and Sebastian feels himself relax as a result. But there's still a final damning question burning on his tongue. He's not going to ask it though. They're settling back down into some kind of normalcy and there's no way he's going to rock the boat again-

"Why did you buy me the condoms _you_ like?"

God-fucking-dammit. Sebastian resists the urge to smack his head on the steering wheel.

Kimi shrugs, rubbing self-consciously at his still flushed face. "Just in case…"

"In case of what?" Sebastian chuckles, "I've never fucked _anyone_ who likes melon!"

"...Yet."

Sebastian's brain malfunctions. At least that's what it feels like. His foot twitches on the pedal of its own accord, but he manages to keep the car in check this time.

It was only one word, but he's having a really hard time processing what Kimi had really just said. 'Yet'. So much meaning in such a little word. Does it mean what he thinks it means though? Hope is bubbling up in his chest in the middle of all the chaos and it feels like the bubbles are carbonating his blood and making it fizz inside his veins. Or maybe he's having some kind of panic attack. Who could tell at this point, honestly?

When he chances a look over, Kimi has turned to face him and the look on his face makes the fizzy feeling inside Sebastian's chest intensify tenfold. He's pretty sure he can feel the bubbles popping under his skin. Kimi looks as hopeful as Sebastian feels inside, and his own face is probably sporting a very similar look.

This is _so_ far from a panic attack. Do happiness attacks exist? Because that would fit the bill much better.

"What does that mean?" Sebastian asks tentatively. He needs confirmation. Anything. Everything feels too good to be true and he doesn't trust himself to read this right.

Kimi sounds equally tentative as he answers, "It can mean whatever you want."

Sebastian nods slowly. His heart is beating so fast he swears he can hear it humming in his ears. Like a hummingbird's wings. He curses inwardly at the insistent bird metaphors. This is not the time.

He probably shouldn't be driving in this state. Should he pull over? He should pull over. He's going to pull over.

"Hold on to that thought," he says to Kimi, checks the mirrors and does a quick swerve through the other lane into a rest stop. Proper road etiquette be damned.

"...Why did we stop?" Kimi asks.

"Because I felt like I was going to crash if we didn't."

For some reason that same impressed look from before in the doctor's office makes an appearance on Kimi's face for a moment before it melts into a more anxious, but still hopeful, one.

 _'Whoever said he doesn't show his emotions on his face must have been blind. So blind...'_ Sebastian thinks in awe, _'I get to see the whole selection.'_

Sebastian coughs awkwardly. "So…" They share a shy look and he calms down slightly. God, this feels like high school. "You meant what I think you meant, right?"

"Depends on what you think," Kimi replies. 

Sebastian shakes his head fondly. Great time for Kimi to decide to act all cryptic. Usually he's the epitome of blunt and he would have just laid his thoughts and feelings bare by now, no matter how brutally honest they might be sometimes, but he guesses this is a sensitive subject for both of them.

Sebastian gets it, really. He's in the exact same boat. Neither of them wants to do or say something hasty and then feel like a fool afterwards if it turns out all it had been was mixed signals. But he is pretty confident that's not the case here.

He takes a deep breath. He'll be brave enough for both of them. Just for now though. He's making Kimi carry his own weight later. ...At least most of the time. He knows he would be lying to himself if he said he could actually refuse this man anything.

Here's to hoping Kimi won't refuse him either.

He reaches over and grazes his fingertips against Kimi's hand. Kimi doesn't react, which Sebastian decides to take as a good sign. Kimi's hand feels soft. It's killing him not to just be able to grab it straight away and hold it in his. He slowly lets his pointer and middle fingers hook onto Kimi's pinky, and gives it a tiny squeeze. He isn't expecting anything, but when Kimi gives a tiny squeeze back, Sebastian's heart soars.

He looks up and they lock eyes. White on red. Kimi is smiling and giving him an exaggerated impatient look. Sebastian feels like crying, just a little. He's so happy he thinks he's going to burst at any second.

The second he lets go of Kimi's pinky, Kimi flips his hand around and holds it out for him expectantly. As if Sebastian hadn't been planning to grab the hell out of that hand anyway. He grins at Kimi and rests his palm against his, watching giddily how Kimi's smile gradually widens until the corners of his eyes crinkle as their fingers slot together.

 _'This,'_ Sebastian thinks, _'This is what actual cloud nine is like. Winning a race has nothing on this.'_

"...You know," he says, "I'm not that hungry anymore."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Sebastian licks his lips nervously and gives Kimi a hopeful look. "Are you...are you still hungry?"

Kimi squeezes his hand. "No."

"So instead of going to breakfast… We could do something else."

"We could," Kimi agrees. He hums in thought and then casually holds up the box of condoms with his free hand. "What do you say?"

Sebastian feels his ears go red, but grins. "In the mood for melon?" he asks teasingly.

Kimi grins back. "Maybe… We'll work up an appetite so you can buy me food at the airport again."

"You know that was just me trying to hit on you, right?" I don't need to do it anymore," Sebastian jokes.

"Why? Who says you're done?" Kimi laughs, "I could still change my mind about these, you know." He shakes the box of condoms.

Seb smirks. "Why don't I just take you on a date?"

Kimi pauses in his box shaking, his eyes shining with excitement. Combined with the red colour they have a sort of 'blood lust' look to them. The thought makes Sebastian snort.

"It'll be a memorable one. With you and your red eyes…"

Kimi blinks and looks into the rearview mirror, seemingly having forgotten about the state of his eyes. He huffs and turns to grin at Sebastian.

"No champagne?" he asks.

Sebastian laughs in surprise. "No champagne," he agrees.

~*~

Sebastian can't help but think that they're doing this a little backwards, but he guesses he shouldn't have expected traditional or normal with Kimi. After all it's one of the things that had made being his friend so exciting. Sebastian can't wait to see what the future holds now that he has been upgraded from 'friend' to 'probably boyfriend', since they've already gotten off to an interesting start. An eye infection and a box of melon flavoured condoms have to be one of the more odd foundations for a relationship. And to top it all off: a first date at an airport of all places. Hollywood couldn't write this shit.

Maybe there was something to that earlier bird metaphor of his after all, because this sure feels like the result of a successful courting ritual. They're even going back to his 'nest'.

It's probably better not to share these thoughts with Kimi just yet though. Sebastian is sure he wouldn't find the mental image of being his bird wife any less ass-kicking worthy now than he would have half an hour ago, and he'd rather not jeopardise this newly discovered interest they have in each other by pissing Kimi off before he's at least got to kiss him some first.

~*~

He had told Kimi _after_ he had got to kiss him. And do some other things.

As expected, Kimi hadn't been too happy about his designated role as the bird wife. _'Why do_ I _have to be the one that lays the eggs?'_ he had asked, annoyed.

Surprisingly, Sebastian had survived without an ass kicking of any kind that day. He had still even gotten a kiss before they had left the hotel for the airport. He couldn't believe his luck.

Then again, Kimi had inadvertently gotten his revenge when Sebastian had woken up the following morning with itchy, red-ish eyes. Kimi's eye infection had apparently decided to jump ship and had made itself at home in his eyes instead. The soft, sleepy laugh Kimi had let out when he had revealed his eyes to him and the whispered words about how he liked that they matched now had more than made up for it though.

 _'Love at first eye infection?'_ Sebastian had thought happily as Kimi had gently caressed the skin under his right eye with his thumb. _'Sounds about right.'_

**Author's Note:**

> All comments are appreciated, please tell me if you liked what you read! <3


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